i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
