Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize