I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
