You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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