We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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