All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
