sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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