I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
