spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
