either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
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omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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