She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
