I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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