this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My feet surprised me
Randomize
