There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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