sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
