Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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