how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
it was like eating out sand paper
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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