i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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