It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
