Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
