I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
