if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Come on in and take your pants off
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