i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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