walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
