I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
