Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize
