I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
