brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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