Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
