OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
