the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
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