is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I wish I only lived at night.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
now i know why i became what i already was.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize