I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
