I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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