woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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