awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
