Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
