dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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