she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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