Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
