Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I am one with the molecules
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
