guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
