I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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