That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
