I think im going to throw up on grandma
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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