Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
