i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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