Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
