you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
