I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
