I only kidnapped one of them. chill
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Randomize