i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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