smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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