Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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