Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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