I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
3pm strippers are depressing
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize