She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
